Wow…I’m so sorry.  I will try to be a bit more current, but surgery wipes a girl out! 🙂

So, it looks like Brian kept you guys very updated for the 30ish hours we were in the hospital…HA!  Wasn’t that completely God!?  We prayed I would not be in the hospital for long.  TA-DA!  Ask, and you shall receive…right? 😉  Ok, so I think our parents had small heart attacks when they found out we were going to be home for lunch the next day…but they are kinda coming around…kinda.

Here’s the deal…as long as my surgery was (a little over 6 hours), it was not a complicated surgery.  The cancer is in each breast (that’s a bummer) so removing the breasts was the best idea for long term chances of non-recurrence.  (BTW…I am ALL FOR breast conservation surgery. That was our initial plan with the DCIS in the right.  This double mastectomy thing is not a walk in the park!)  When doing a mastectomy, the lymph nodes are much easier to get to, so they (the surgeons) like to check those out while they are in there.  They are located in the arm and begin by the armpit.  These are the “difficult” part of the surgery (in my opinion).  The docs inject an “identifier” and the lymph nodes do their job and pull that stuff into them.  The docs can use a device (its really cool to watch online) to find the nodes and then dig them out.  Like I said, that’s kinda the hard part for me.  They are trying to miss nerves and vessels (to all my medical friends, please grant me grace in my lingo) as they dig.  My doc did a great job!  My nodes on the right were working overtime and he had to remove 2…left only had 1 removed.  But here’s another God thing…I think I have full feeling!  Thanks Doc!  He warned me that I may have numbness in my arm, but all seems good at this point!  Yay!  As you saw in one of Brian’s posts, no cancer was found in any of the nodes on the initial search.  Praise The Lord!!!  We will hear final pathology results Monday afternoon.  So, in my mind, removing “the girls” in surgery doesn’t involve working around the other inside stuff…so it’s just not the same as a hysterectomy, liver cancer or colon cancer or ovarian or that kind of stuff…it’s just “the girls”.  So going home soon is definitely an option if all goes well…and Praise God, it did!

Well, once the surgical oncologist was finished, the plastic surgeon began his work.  He inserted “TE’s” (tissue expanders) and filled them a bit.  I had 4 drains (2 on each side) to help remove the fluid that your body naturally sends to a damaged part of the body.  These drains tunnel from where “the girls” were to outside my body from my sides into “charged” bulbs.  The bulbs collect the fluid and have to be emptied twice a day.  Maybe Paul’s thorn was a drain…these things are a pain in my side (hehehehe, get it 😉 ???).  Praising God again, I got 2 of them removed today (and the knots to the sutures!)!  WhooHoo!  Brian has been such a champ.  He has had to juggle a lot with all this and has done it with strength and compassion.  That’s a tough combination for any man and he has proven himself up to the task.  Thanks for praying for him…he still needs it ;).

So, I think that gets you up-to-date with the medical.  Physically, I’ve been taking it slow.  The drains made it hard to twist, the nodes made it hard to put weight on my arms.  This means I got to sleep in my comfy chair with arms propped and feet up.  Try getting into your bed and comfy without the use of your arms nor the ability to twist.  Yeah, that happened multiple times in the hospital and once at home.  That was enough.  I did it, but it was exhausting and excruciating at times.  Oooohhh…the pain meds.  They’ve been great.  But let me tell you!!!  I did NOT do well on that morphine pump!  I don’t do meds…really, I don’t.  I do honey and a home remedy for allergies because antihistamines do weird things to me.  So the night nurse (bless) had to try to figure out what was going on that first night.  She turned off the pump and gave me the oral meds and life got MUCH better.  Crazy thing is I don’t know if I needed the pain meds.  They made me very tired (still haven’t been able to catch up on emails) and unsteady.  I took them every 7-8 hours until today…again, Praise the Lord!  Doc said I probably didn’t need the stuff I was on, just some anti-inflammatory meds because I was experiencing nerve pain.  You see, the drains were messing with a nerve and it got swollen and agitated…causing pain!  So he took me off one and introduced me to another.  Now I am feeling even more better! (sorry english people, I know that was a double thingy (superlative?) 😉 ) So, pain is getting more manageable on less drugs for me.  My range of motion and strength increase each day too.  I am hoping to be in my bed very soon!

Emotionally and spiritually I cannot tell you how great it’s been.  My emotions were out of control on the pump and I had a random breakdown last night…but other than that it’s been pretty steady!  I have been overwhelmed by the outpouring of love from my family (physical and spiritual).  I have flowers and balloons, gifts and cards, and an incredible prayer journal that bring me so much joy it’s just…God.  Not to mention my sister got me some cute pj’s from the Maxx and I am rockin’ those! (hahahaha!)  Ok, seriously, I can’t help but be thankful.  Yes, this diagnosis stinks, but isn’t that just life?  “We are never promised easy” one of my friends said.  But isn’t He enough?  Hasn’t He shown Himself trustworthy in EVERY area of my life before?  Why would I doubt Him and His plan now?  Now THAT seems unstable (remember, I’m off the drugs now).  That entire, “consider it all joy…” thing is such an amazing teaching for me.  We have encountered trials before, and lacked nothing.  James just puts it out there so incredibly simply.  (If you haven’t read James for a while…do it.)  We are honored that God trusts us with this.  I know it must sound crazy.  I know I am clueless as to how I will respond to treatment. I do not think I’m in denial.  I think this is just God.  It makes me a little sad when others say they are sorry that we have to go through this.  Why?  Do you know how much bigger this thing is than I am?  Do you know how many people have been calling out to God on my behalf because of this?  Do you know how much God LOVES to hear from His people?  This is bringing people to the feet of God…I can’t do that!  When I get these prayer cards…people are going to God first.  When those cards have scripture on them, they are recalling what they have hidden in their hearts or are searching God’s Word!  It just doesn’t get any better!!!  This is our passion!  This is our desire!  This is what Brian and I have given our lives to…that we may be used to send others to God first and His Word.  Isaiah 40:8 “The grass withers, the flower fades, But the word of our God stands forever.”  This is truth.  People can’t count on me or Brian or anyone else.  We fade.  But if we can have an opportunity to get our children, our students, our young people, our family to seek Him and His Word…holy mackenoly…that’s super exciting…and humbling. 

So, yes, we take all this very seriously.  To try to explain the joy we have reading the evidences of others seeking God is just too weird…but it’s so true.  There is joy in the trials…unspeakable joy.